My name is Melissa Willis, I’m in my early forties, married and together my husband and I have two dogs, one cat and a turtle. I run a full-time private piano studio, while my husband is completing his Doctoral Studies in Social Work. In the past 9 months our lives have been transformed from busy, exhausting, stressful and chaotic to lives that are full, joyful and content. How? Two words: Less stuff.
I didn’t set out to become a minimalist. I’ve spent the majority of my life happily shopping and accumulating all sorts of things – things to make life better, more organized, easier and prettier. Did I mention I also have a perfectionist streak? My husband also tells me (in a most loving way) relaxing is not one of my strengths. It’s safe to say sitting still is not my default mode. I am a full time private music teacher and have taught up to 80 students per week, but I’ve “downsized” to only 50 students per week. All these pretty, useful and shiny things, a busy work schedule and a list of accomplishments – this was my definition of a successful and fruitful life. While it looked pretty “on the surface”, I was exhausted, overwhelmed and always desired “more” – which perpetuated the “busy” cycle of life. In short, I was not content and probably not very healthy either. I wanted contentment and a healthier lifestyle, but I couldn’t seem to find it.
How did I stumble onto this new path I write about now? I began dabbling in “simplifying” and “budgeting” in 2010. My husband relocated to Indianapolis for a new job, 6 months later, I finished up my teaching year at our previous location and joined him in Indy. Less than 2 months later he lost that job due to budget cuts and I was still in the process of setting up a brand new music studio. Essentially, we were both unemployed. My coping mechanism was to embrace simplicity! I read every book on budgeting and simplicity I could find at our local library. I attended a Sunday school class on anti-consumerism. I took in a lot of information, but had limited success maintaining the implementation my newly learned simplifying skills. Old habits returned quickly once we were both gainfully employed. Still, I kept reading books and seeking out a slower and simpler life.
Fast forward 4 years…
In June of 2014, I attended a music workshop in Washington DC – it was a workshop I’d wanted to attend since 2006, but circumstances never seemed quite right. This past June I took the plunge, doing whatever needed to attend. I was full of excitement and anticipation until the actual day grew closer. I became riddled with nerves. I didn’t know anyone else attending. On my own, I would have to navigate a 60-90 minute train ride on DC public transit. I felt like I was going to summer camp or college for the first time. In the end I conquered my fears and left with a new sense of confidence and purpose I’d not experienced before.
Why was DC the light bulb moment? I’m not sure – perhaps it was the many long train rides in solitude for reflection, perhaps it was the opportunity for an intensive week of professional development, perhaps it was our incredibly inspirational instructor and the brilliantly streamlined and engaging materials she created to teach music theory. I do know there exists, for me, a distinct line between life before and after this workshop. The idea of streamlined teaching and needing less to teach more gradually overflowed into all other areas of my life. I didn’t need everything, I only needed what was essential, what was important and did the job of teaching well what I needed to teach – and that became and continues to take the form of less and less “stuff” in all areas of my life.